Recently, I realized that one of the things I measured my success as a
mother against was the sibling dynamic of our two daughters. I had this pretty
picture in my mind of them being thick as thieves always there supporting each
other. The Rachel Platton song, Girls, pretty much sums
up what I had in mind (because my brain works in song lyrics).
The reality of their sibling dynamic was nowhere near the picture I had
conjured up. So, I tried to control the narrative by directing their relationship.
You can imagine how well that worked out. Not great! So, looking back at that tactic with all the knowledge I have gained over the years I can now see that it did way more
harm than good. Life certainly does teach us some things the hard way!
In this week’s episode of The Mother Daughter Journey, we dig into the
sibling dynamic. How my directing of Emily and Abigail’s relationship affected
them and ultimately our family unit. Since recording the episode and upon further
reflection, I can see how my involvement in their relationship rippled outside of
our family unit as well.
What I have come to believe is that their relationship is really none of my business.
Of course, I want them to be best friends. I think that is what all mothers want. It is natural, but by projecting my pretty little picture into their relationship prevented them from defining how THEY wanted it to look. Even worse, it amplified the normal growing pains of the sibling
dynamic.
We all know what they say, right? Hindsight is 2020.
So, I decided to share how I think I would handle this bit of motherhood if I had a do-over in The Sibling Dynamic episode. Since do-overs aren’t a thing I remind myself of Maya Angelou’s words, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.”.
Warmly,
Kelly
Make sure to follow our latest episodes and share The Mother Daughter Journey with anyone you know who needs to hear it!
